If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
