Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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