super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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