Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize