Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
