On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize