take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
