I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
