It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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