i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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