Don't make out with my wife yet
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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