a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
