butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
