No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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