Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
farters have to be the big spoon...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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