Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
