even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
