She's JV to your varsity
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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