The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
