come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
