Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
