he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize