Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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