She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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