No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
so let's talk penis.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
