I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
