We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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