Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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