She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize