Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
