I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
