Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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