There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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