If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
