Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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