You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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