I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
they're like a gay fantastic four
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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