I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize