i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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