gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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