I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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