She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
