I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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