you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize