omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize