You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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