I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
