Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Blood and glitter go together right?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Is Oprah even human
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
