this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
