Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
