..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
