Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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