This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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