sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
