the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize