I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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