i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
