But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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