And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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