even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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