i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
