I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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