Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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