I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
