Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
