He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
