I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
