im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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