i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize